My Life… So far
So today I didn’t do much.
There’s this disease you might have heard of called Covid.
Its forcing me to stay home (not that I need any motivation to do so).
Forgot to introduce myself there for a second, I’m Dev pronounced Dave but my parents can’t speak English despite it being their main language. I go by a lot of names though usually some variation of Dave like idk David? So, I feel weird blank emotionless. I feel like I’m just going through the motions of School though I do feel some emotion specifically one, Stress. I gain literally no joy doing anything anymore (perhaps it’s a sign of depression perhaps I’ve gone off the edge who knows, I don’t). So, what do I write here whatever I want, I guess? OH, irritation I also get that A LOT of irritation mainly whenever I hear a loud voice like my mother’s not that I dislike her its just that she’s losing her hearing like her mother and much like her grand mother yells instead of speaking and refused to accept that she’s losing her hearing or yelling but I digress I’m here to talk about what I want like…… Myself? Ok if that’s what I want to talk about.
Ummm Back ground….
……..
Guess ill start at the beginning of it all then, Birth.
……..
Birth
I was born to an interesting family I was a bastard. Born to a father that wasn’t my biological one though I don’t remember much from then only the permanently scarring stuff like my non-bio father (step-father?) trying to suffocate my mom In front of a roughly 4-year-old (I say roughly because none wants to talk about it with my as its “a lot for a kid” as I’m “only” 16 despite me only being there and my own mother stating I was too young to remember that despite me recalling what happened) me. Back to the Birth I was born on a stormy June morning roughly 2:30AM because there wasn’t a more inconveniencing time known to me. I was born in my grandmother’s house but moving on to the more interesting stuff. I didn’t cry when I was born though the peculiarities don’t end here.
Early Childhood (according to my mother)
After I was born my mom traveled with me like a lot of places Britain, India, the Netherlands and throughout the Caribbean. This traveling was where she met my bio dad. I met him through traveling too weird coincidence huh? He was a mechanical engineer for Atlas Technologies. He lived in India though the upscale side. OH, Sibling I had those, 4 of them though they’re not that important, 3 boys, 1 girl in order of age Navin, Davi Ann (Yeah, my sis’ name is literally mine with an I creativity just came naturally to my mother) Robin and my dad’s other son though I don’t know much about him. I was raised by my mom and her side of the family as my dad lived a world away though his effect on my upbringing is not to be dismissed. I was raised in my Grandmas home because my mother didn’t get an acre of land bought for her by her Grandpa. There wasn’t a house there it was imaginary because a boogie man lived there. That being my Step-father, He was abusive physically that is so I get why my mom left but the issue was she left about 18 years in. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have options like her mother who lived next door clearly or family that would keep her safe but that’s her life and this is mine. I lived in that house with my step dad. He was a drunk and I remember some snippets that I can’t for the life of me remember the time line, I was with him alone with Robin, I was with my mom at my grandma’s house, I was with my mom siblings and him in my mom’s house. I was alone with my mom in my aunt’s old house (she immigrated and left the house) but I’m not going to ask because I know she (my mom lies about a lot of stuff pertaining to the time though I don’t blame her I would lie too….
The Incident
Maybe I don’t remember much of this but I do some stuff they say that your brain usually pieces memories together and makes up stuff to fill in the gaps so maybe mine did that but I don’t know what I do know is this:
It was about morning time my mom and I were in my grandma’s house downstairs with the door open. Maybe she thought that because it was morning and he probably was sober she was safe… She thought wrong as I remember he was drunk and came into my grandma’s house demanding …. food? My mom obliged cowering and giving him food though he got mad at one point and started yelling. She ran out the back door and was chased by him… I can’t remember if I was with her or I followed her but I was present during all of it but all of a sudden, we were in the concrete back yard of my grandma’s and he had tackled her to the ground he turned her around and started choking her. I being a child was crying as a child would flutily trying to stop him. I had a feeling of dread as I knew I was next, then I heard a shout my mom’s uncle, my uncle the man I respect the most. He climbed a gate and pushed him off and scared him off. Then he ran because he was in fact a coward always beating my mom but the second my grandpa or uncle or the police was nearby, he would hide and run. Though if I had to fight my Grandpa or Uncle I would be scared too because at their prime they were fairly formidable fighters, they were both sugar cane cutters. Everyday getting up at dawn and cutting massive fields of cane and getting paid the amount you cut leads to one getting fairly strong and imposing. Back to the story, I guess… I don’t know what happened I remember there being marks on her skin and then suddenly we were at a police station I was in her or someone else’s arms whilst she again filed a police report detailing what she had saw probably because she finally saw her death or maybe mine or maybe she was forced to by my uncle all were plausible answers. He died from throat cancer when I was around 14 R.I.P Uncle Cachie and thanks I never got to tell you that… We moved from Grandma’s house soon after to my aunt’s house. I remember the moving, us coming to this empty house (that was a few minutes’ walk away from grandma and even less so from my Uncles which was probably why we moved there).
That was alot but its only just begun…..
